My aunt came up with this question and I think it's a good one to ask in order to stimulate some conversation. Let's hope that none of us ever have to personally deal with any of these issues but based on statistics, we might.
Is it worse for a husband to beat his wife, or a wife to cheat on her husband? Why?
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From your previous post: "we'll start with something a little easy"...hmmmmm. I really want to say they're both horrible but I know you want us to choose. I would say it's worse for a husband to beat his wife. I don't know if I have a great explanation for that except that if I ask myself the following question, "is it worse for a wife to beat her husband, or a husband to cheat on his wife?" I say that it's worse for the husband to cheat...which would lead me to say that it's not the action that is worse; it's worse because of the one completing the action...? i don't know, somebody more astute could probably explain why...
This is a wacky question and I think there is an ethical argument somewhere that would nullify it as valid, BUT as kelsi said you want us to answer.
I say it is worse for the husband to beat his wife, not because beating is a worse crime or sin or something. But because the husband is head of the wife and has been given authority over her by God. So he is committing two crimes: 1. assault and 2. abusing the position of authority entrusted to him.
They are both terrible, but my immediate reaction was that it was worse for the wife to cheat on the husband... and especially if you are talking about having sex.
main reasons for that...
1. the number of times proverbs and the bible in general speaks out against the adulteress (this includes prostitutes)
2. the fact that sexual immorality (includes fornication and prostitution and adultery) is usually the first "work of the flesh" listed in all of Paul's letters...and the bible says it comes from an idolatrous heart and that those who do so will not inherit the kingdom (rom 1, 1 cor 6:9, gal 5, eph 5)...
3. The fact that in 1 Cor 7, we learn that if a Christian practices sexual immorality that he or she is making the members (literally body parts) of Christ join with the members with a prostitute/adulterer..
4. The fact that marriage is supposed to be a covenant relationship reflecting Christ and the church
5. And finally, the fact that "You shall not commit adultery" is one of the Ten Commandments.
"You shall not beat your wife" didn't make the top 10 cut.
I can't really say if I think beating or cheating is worse - I would lamely maintain that they're both bad.
But, I would say that I don't think it matters who is doing which. Like when Kelsi switched it around and said the wife beating the husband or the husband cheating on the wife. If that makes it easier to answer, then I think we're basisng it on gender stereotypes.
Leah: Although "you shall not beat your wife" is not one of the twelve commandments, what about "love your neighbor as yourself"? Both of these would be under that heading and thus how do you separate which is worse... (I'm really asking here, you're wicked smart and I love your discourse, yes I said wicked smart...)
Marie: yea, that's probably pretty much what I was doing
Sarah: when are you going to add your thoughts? what did your aunt say?
I don't know. I'm just saying, by cheating, you blatantly trample on a covenant that has been ordained by God and is really sacred (though our culture doesn't see it that way)... while beating your wife is very bad, I just don't see the evidence in scripture to be able to say that it's worse... possibly just as bad, but not worse.
Everywhere I turn (esp in the new testament), but most definitely in the old, there is another warning against sexual immorality. Under OT law, adultery was punishable by death... it had the greater punishment.
And I agree with Marie... about the gender thing... which conveniently helps my argument. :)
HOWEVER,you only have to fail at one point of the law to be guilty of breaking ALL of it (James 2:10), and the standard is that even if you think a hateful thought or a lustful thought, you're guilty before God as a murderer or adulterer. So who knows. I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. Haha. :) Just trying to give another opinion.
And we all need Jesus.
The end.
good points, you may be swaying me. and i know you're not being a smart ass, haha. i like the differing points of view, if you can't talk stuff through how do you learn anything new?
My aunt, and the whole rest of my family said that beating was way worse. What is funny is that most of the people she asked in Egypt said cheating was worse. Whether beating in that culture is more acceptable (and this is strictly man beating woman) or if cheating is more unacceptable (and this is strictly a woman cheating on her husband)I think the status of women is what she was really trying to get at with the question she posed.
Personally, I said I thought cheating was worse. For basically the exact same reasons Leah posted. And more than that on a personal level-I have 3 friends who have shared that they found out one of their parents was unfaithful. It didn't matter if it was their mom or dad, what mattered is that the whole family was deeply affected. Not to say beating would do the same thing-but somehow with cheating, more complexities arise. A trust issue (thoughts they might do it again), and isecurity issue (feeling rejected by the spouse who cheated), and the fact that they totally went outside of the bond of marriage which is supposed to mimic our relationship with Christ our bridegroom.
Not saying beating is better, but with beating you are not going outside the bond of marriage and basically bringing someone else into your bed. It's idolitry in a way. Basically, i think healing is more likely after beating than after cheating. but some may argue that cheating would be a one time thing, whereas beating usually is repetitive. I could go on an on.
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